There’s a pounding in my head
That I can’t seem to halt,
There’s a breath stuck inside me
That I can’t seem to take.
There is a thought in my heart
That I can’t seem to cease,
There is an emotion in my body
That I can’t seem to collect.
There is a tremor in my hand
That I cant seem to break
There is anger in my veins
That I can’t seem to restrain.
There is this drama under my skin
That I can’t seem to show
There is this blankness in my eyes
That I can’t seem to fake.
There is this ache in my body
That I can’t feel for full
There is this push through my soul
That I can’t seem to pull
There is so much going on within
That I am incapable of showing outside
There is such little remaining on the surface
That I can’t seem to feel inside.
There is much I wish to act out on
That I can’t seem to act.
There is so much I wish to talk about
That I can’t seem to speak.
There are these tears I want to cry out
That just don’t seem to fall.
There is all this pain I want to let out
That doesn’t seem to want to go.
There is so much this I speaks
Yet my ears cant hear me
There is much this I touches
Yet my skin can’t sense a thing.
There is this vision of an I
Yet my eyes cant see me
There is all this I feels
Yet my heart can’t find its beat.
There is only this much I can take
Even if this I is nothing to even itself
There is only so much I can hold onto
Even if there is not much for it to embrace.
There is sorrow in my being
That doesn’t seem to leave
There is this emptiness that I feel
That I cant fill up with dreams.
There is only so much I can contain
Before the devastation of my being
Disappearing behind its disquiet…
Living on just an imagery.
© Deepa Bajaj, 2019. All Rights Reserved.